مرحبا / Hello
According to the dictionary of obscure sorrows, the term “monachopsis” is the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.
A typical conversation would start with the causal hellos following with a “how are you doing”. And of course, we’re designed to subconsciously reply with a “good”, although it may not truly reflect the way we’re feeling. So while I began this conversation with a hello, I will go on to tell you that the definition above is one that resonates with me often, and that imposes on the ways in which I function. My Palestinian roots are intertwined with my American identity, as i’ve resided in Colorado my entire life but was born in Amman, Jordan. I often find myself struggling with my identity in that I can’t seem to fit in on either side of the world. Back home in the East, where my heart eternally belongs - I am characterized as “Americanized” although I have no desire to neglect my culture. And in the West, where I physically reside, my being is undermined and belittled to stigma’s and misconceptions. In this struggle, I continue to discover my individuality and express it through writing, politics and style. Oh, and coffee, but we’ll get more into that later.
While I may be political and the fire in me is quite difficult to put out once I have begun, I carry a passion for the artistic world. The art of words is one I connect with on a level so deep, I often find myself drifting off into another dimension. Though I articulate myself and my experiences much better through written word, I often find myself shying away from sharing. However, I will do my best to function otherwise on here. You can always find me buried somewhere in a coffee shop, digging deep into my journal. A habit in which I find the greatest joy; proof that you can find happiness in the simplest of things.
One may define me as a hopeless romantic, for I am able to find love within everything. Others tend to characterize this inclination of becoming attached to everything I come across as a "weakness" - and well, that is fault within itself, as I believe human kind was born with the purpose of finding beauty in everything, most importantly within.
My name is Ayah, and I am thrilled to share my journey with you.